I do not pastor the church.
I watch the back of the one who does.
I do not make the decisions.
I pray for the wisdom of the ones who do.
I do not play the piano or run the nursery. I keep my hands free so I can help out wherever I might be needed on a Sunday morning. And I do serve in the areas where I am truly passionate.
I come to church ready to be on my hands and knees either loving on a snotty, crying child or sweeping up donuts crumbs and spilled coffee from the school cafeteria floor.
I do not get jealous when other women need my husband’s counsel. But, I do keep a very close tab on every situation. I talk with my husband about boundaries and guidelines that will help to protect our marriage and he allows me to check up on him and ask him tough questions
I do date my husband every single week. I do not let conversation turn towards church affairs during our date night (at least not very often).
I do run our home. I am a traveling mom with a mini van. And I do everything that I can to make our home a place of refuge for our family and not a place of stress.
I do help to keep my husband well balanced. I try to make sure that he is always making time for the family and time for himself in the middle of the whirlwind of all God has called him to be.
I will open my house up to new families and friends. It is not always the most comfortable thing for me to do. I don’t allow myself to feel guilty for that. I am an introvert by nature and the party is my most uncomfortable place to be. But I push myself to step out of my comfort zone more and more.
There are many more things that I do as a church planting wife. I plan and schedule and rearrange my schedule. I wear the big MOM hat 24/7. I give and take and mentor and remain flexible. I smile. I cry. I celebrate and admittedly sometimes I complain. I get tired. I laugh. I scream. I nurture the deep relationship with at least one godly lady who is not at all a part of our church. For I always end up needing a caring voice on the other end of the phone. And I watch in amazement at what God is doing.
But most of all, I take time to curl up in the lap of the Father as often as I possibly can. I believe this alone is the #1 role of the church planting wife. Forget all of the other do’s and don’ts. If I fail to do the #1 thing. . .I drown. And believe me, drowning in the middle of starting a church is never where you want to be.
No doubt your hats will be different from mine. God’s story for your journey will look quite different in many ways. Embrace the uniqueness of where and what God has called you to do. Discover the place where you can meet with God and all of the rest of the world can melt away. Then make sure that you join him there regularly. That would be my heart’s wish for you as you begin the adventure.
Don’t just settle for being a church planter’s wife. God has called you very specifically and he has plans for you in your church plant. He needs you. I hope you’ll embrace that call and make the most of the journey.