Satisfied With “MY Singleness”

What do I mean, satisfied with my singleness?

Some may think of singleness as a disease that needs to be cured by a relationship, but in actuality, singleness is an amazing time in one’s life.

First, we need to deal with on a couple of things…the 5 W’s…Why, What, Where, When, and Who.

Why am I still single?

What am I doing wrong that I cannot find the right person?

Where will I meet that person at and how will it happen?

Who could ever love someone like me, I’m broken, I’m hurt and I have walls up?

Let’s break these questions down into categories and apply the Word of GOD…

  1. Why am I still single?

This question needs to be reworded…it should say, “Why not improve me to be the best me I can be until God sends my other half.”

Now with saying that, a spouse or mate is not a prize from a race you are running…it is not a reward for being devoted to your singleness without bitterness or spite.

Singleness is a gift. A gift to grow in GOD, a gift of free time for personal development, a gift of time to fine tune the gifts God has placed you, a gift to learn you before you need to learn anyone else.

We see so many conflicts in relationships because people get together and do not know who they are in God, in life, in talent, nor in their ministry. For example, a conflict may develop when you finally figure out who you are and it becomes threatening to your spouse or discouraged by your spouse. Of course, these things can be worked out by prayer and communication, but why not bring all you have to the table from the get-go.

Next, being single gives you the opportunity to please GOD… Let’s look at the Word of God and then interpret it.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (KJV)

32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

This means, your time, your effort, your responsibility and your pleasure is to be found in GOD…Verse number 35 says, that you may attend unto the Lord without distractions… To be pure in body and spirit…The love of the single person’s life is Christ.

  1. What am I doing wrong that I cannot find the right person?

It would be an easy thing for you to say, “I need to change who I am to attract the right person.” Understand this, when God created you, He created the whole you, your personality, your quirks, your voice, your shape, your pet peeves, and your uniqueness. He did it with purpose and intent. He made you special. He created you strategically so that you can shine!

The Bible says in Psalms 139:13-14

13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.

This needs to be posted all around your home…I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

The NIV says, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!”

When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we are looking at GOD’s masterpiece…. God’s creation and when God creates something…It is Good!

  1. Where will I meet that person at and how will it happen?

When you follow the principles of God’s Word. He cannot help but to bless you…

So, instead of seeking the When and the How, something else needs to be sought after… Seek to Delight God

Psalm 37:4 (ESV) Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

There is a theme in the Word of God and that theme is to please God. We need to please Him in our words, actions and lifestyle.

How to we delight ourselves in GOD? We seek a relationship with Him. We pray, we read the Word, we study the word and we meditate on Him day and night. This way of living should be a lifestyle for every believer. Marrieds and singles alike.

  1. Who could ever love someone like me, I’m broken, I’m hurt and I have walls up?

We all have had life happen to us. We all have had hurt, pain, sickness, loss or some sort of suffering that has made us who we are today.

The first thing you should know is, God wants to heal you. He wants you to be whole and complete.

Understand, as humans, we all have weaknesses and we need a God that can take our burdens and help us to walk a life free in Him.

Psalms 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

No matter where you are at in your life, God is your portion forever, God is your strength forever, God is your hope forever, God is your provider forever, God is the lifter up of you head forever!

Psalms 116:1 I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.

Never forget God hears our cry. He will meet you at the point of your affliction and heal you, restore you, comfort you, keep you and love you with an everlasting unbiased love.

Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
God, is a God of action. When you understand that you have a God that hears you, you will understand that you have a God that wants to heal you as well. There is no amount of brokenness, hurt, shame or walls that can stop God from doing a mighty work in your life.

So, I close with this, seek to please God knowing He sees the big picture. Singleness is not a hindrance it is a helper. A time of preparation and equipping. A time to go deeper and refine yourself in the Lord.

This takes trust….

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

When you learn to truly trust the Lord you can be satisfied with singleness and know God has your steps ordered!

trust-in-the-lord

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About Sister Barlow

Hello I am Sister Candice Barlow, I am a 30 year old wife of a amazing man. Pastor Rodney Barlow. He is the Pastor of The Lighthouse Church in Independence, Mo. God has brought us here to this city for Such a Time As This! We have two wonderful boys that have a love for adventure and a passion for life!
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